Weight loss is an overwhelming topic for so many people, myself included. Counting calories and tracking mileage are just the beginning. Here is my list of weight-loss must-haves:
* Carefully plan out my errands so that I am no more than 100 feet from a restroom. Drinking water does the body good? I'm sure it has benefits, including the pee-pee dance and pissing like a racehorse.
* Always keep my gym bag in the truck in the hopes I will see it and want to sweat myself silly during my lunch hour. Deodorant and fresh socks and undies are a must.
* Gum. Lots of it.
* My iPod. Because nothing is more boring than counting the number of blue Volkswagens that pass you while you exercise.
* Sunglasses. Yes, I'm antisocial when I exercise. No, I don't want you to see how I really feel about my jiggly bits.
Needless to say, I am the heaviest I've ever been and vow to do something about it. None of this yo-yo dieting where I take one step forward and two steps back. I try to remain realistic, but let's face it - I no longer have the metabolism of an 18 year old. I also have to find time to work out. This coming from a former personal trainer. Oh, the irony of it all. When did I get way to big for my size 10 britches?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Ally McBeal Moment
--WARNING--
The following material is not meant to offend anyone. However, if you are easily offended, I highly urge you to not read any further and find a highly qualified therapist.
Maybe I'm just out of practice when it comes to higher education, but silly me, I thought I was supposed to be educated when I put down a ransom-sized amount of money as an "investment in my future."
Everyone has to take the Introduction to College Life Class when they start. Makes sense - get your feet wet before diving into imaginary numbers and 1000 pages of literature. I'm in my second week of this awe-inspiring class and had my first Ally McBeal moment. I wanted to strangle someone and rip out their eyeballs. Oddly enough, the topic tonight was about how triggers can make us remember certain memories, which bring about an emotional reaction. My trigger must be long-winded, overly zealous people who are extremely comfortable sharing TMI (Too Much Information).
I get it, people. I really do. You are making a positive impact on your life and have the courage to go back to school. Don't expect me to give you a cookie. (A slow clap, yes, but nothing edible). Also, don't be surprised if I seem disinterested in your overly descriptive narrative. Life isn't easy. Life is full of crap. I get it. We get it. However, I paid someone $100 an hour (before insurance) to talk about my problems and feel heard. I appreciate the healing abilities of group therapy, however, my Professional Development class IS NOT IT. If it's relevant, share it in the following format:
Opening sentence
Body
Closing
(do not repeat)
Do me a favor, please. Next time you feel the need to share I have a few suggestions:
1) Don't open your mouth
2) If you must open your mouth, please don't try to be funny about something horribly tragic. You'll just make it worse.
3) Do not talk in circles. You are not making a point. You just sound like an idiot.
4) Blog.
The following material is not meant to offend anyone. However, if you are easily offended, I highly urge you to not read any further and find a highly qualified therapist.
Maybe I'm just out of practice when it comes to higher education, but silly me, I thought I was supposed to be educated when I put down a ransom-sized amount of money as an "investment in my future."
Everyone has to take the Introduction to College Life Class when they start. Makes sense - get your feet wet before diving into imaginary numbers and 1000 pages of literature. I'm in my second week of this awe-inspiring class and had my first Ally McBeal moment. I wanted to strangle someone and rip out their eyeballs. Oddly enough, the topic tonight was about how triggers can make us remember certain memories, which bring about an emotional reaction. My trigger must be long-winded, overly zealous people who are extremely comfortable sharing TMI (Too Much Information).
I get it, people. I really do. You are making a positive impact on your life and have the courage to go back to school. Don't expect me to give you a cookie. (A slow clap, yes, but nothing edible). Also, don't be surprised if I seem disinterested in your overly descriptive narrative. Life isn't easy. Life is full of crap. I get it. We get it. However, I paid someone $100 an hour (before insurance) to talk about my problems and feel heard. I appreciate the healing abilities of group therapy, however, my Professional Development class IS NOT IT. If it's relevant, share it in the following format:
Opening sentence
Body
Closing
(do not repeat)
Do me a favor, please. Next time you feel the need to share I have a few suggestions:
1) Don't open your mouth
2) If you must open your mouth, please don't try to be funny about something horribly tragic. You'll just make it worse.
3) Do not talk in circles. You are not making a point. You just sound like an idiot.
4) Blog.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Independence Day
There are a myriad of explanations for what freedom means - Freedom of speech, freedom to practice religion, freedom to question, freedom to express oneself. I grew up a military brat and didn't fully appreciate what my dad did until much later in life. I asked my dad about two years after our move to Germany, "Daddy, why are we here?" The summer of 1989 I had a history lesson I will never forget.
During the 5 hour drive from Frankfurt to Berlin, dad told us the story of World War II and how the country became divided. I was surprised that my Opa (grandfather) guarded Checkpoint Charlie in the 60s. I remember asking dad, "Was he on the good side or the bad side?" Dad informed us that we would have to go through three checkpoints and would only have so much time to get from one to the other. Checkpoint Alpha, at Helmstedt, and Checkpoint Bravo, at Dreilinden got us into West Berlin. Dad told us to hold up our passports in the car window and don't look directly at the soldiers guarding the gates. Needless to say, it was a somber moment driving up to Checkpoint Charlie and actually seeing the expanse of the Berlin Wall.
Barbed wire ran across the top of the twelve foot tall wall that divided the east from the west. Graffiti on the western side echoed the disdain of the German people. The other side was completely bare, except for the few darkened spots of bloodshed. There were cameras on every building, watching my every move. No one could talk to us because we were American. Dad had to wear his uniform at all times and carry a card that said "Take me to the American Embassy" in several languages, in case we ran into trouble. We had lunch at a Gasthaus and ate with aluminum forks and knives. Even the money was made out of tin or aluminum!
The buildings were drab and uninteresting. The people never smiled. Soldiers glared at us. That was the first time in my life I was afraid to be American. Dad told me we represent everything Communists hate - most of all, freedom. Our last stop was the concentration camp, Dachau. I don't need to reiterate the goings on at this horrible place. I will tell you the feeling I had was unlike any other - even at ten years old, I came to terms with my mortality. I could feel ghosts all around me, as if to say, "Please remember me."
I didn't utter a word during the drive home. All I could think about was how lucky I was to be free. I saw my dad and the military in a whole new light. I was proud to be affiliated with a group of men and women who put others before themselves. Some would say I didn't have a choice to believe that since I was born into the military. How could I think differently if that's all I knew? All I can say is that we are all shaped by our experiences. Dad chose to show me a different side, the ugly side, of history so that I could appreciate the gift of freedom. The common saying, "Freedom isn't free" weighs heavily on my soul. We all - every single one of us - pay a price.
I urge you to think about the men and women who died so that we can buy ridiculous decorations and cover ourselves and homes with the American flag. Thank a soldier, a vet, and anyone who has served their country. They didn't serve their president or their own ideals. They gave willingly of themselves for someone they don't even know. Please don't take your freedom for granted.
During the 5 hour drive from Frankfurt to Berlin, dad told us the story of World War II and how the country became divided. I was surprised that my Opa (grandfather) guarded Checkpoint Charlie in the 60s. I remember asking dad, "Was he on the good side or the bad side?" Dad informed us that we would have to go through three checkpoints and would only have so much time to get from one to the other. Checkpoint Alpha, at Helmstedt, and Checkpoint Bravo, at Dreilinden got us into West Berlin. Dad told us to hold up our passports in the car window and don't look directly at the soldiers guarding the gates. Needless to say, it was a somber moment driving up to Checkpoint Charlie and actually seeing the expanse of the Berlin Wall.
Barbed wire ran across the top of the twelve foot tall wall that divided the east from the west. Graffiti on the western side echoed the disdain of the German people. The other side was completely bare, except for the few darkened spots of bloodshed. There were cameras on every building, watching my every move. No one could talk to us because we were American. Dad had to wear his uniform at all times and carry a card that said "Take me to the American Embassy" in several languages, in case we ran into trouble. We had lunch at a Gasthaus and ate with aluminum forks and knives. Even the money was made out of tin or aluminum!
The buildings were drab and uninteresting. The people never smiled. Soldiers glared at us. That was the first time in my life I was afraid to be American. Dad told me we represent everything Communists hate - most of all, freedom. Our last stop was the concentration camp, Dachau. I don't need to reiterate the goings on at this horrible place. I will tell you the feeling I had was unlike any other - even at ten years old, I came to terms with my mortality. I could feel ghosts all around me, as if to say, "Please remember me."
I didn't utter a word during the drive home. All I could think about was how lucky I was to be free. I saw my dad and the military in a whole new light. I was proud to be affiliated with a group of men and women who put others before themselves. Some would say I didn't have a choice to believe that since I was born into the military. How could I think differently if that's all I knew? All I can say is that we are all shaped by our experiences. Dad chose to show me a different side, the ugly side, of history so that I could appreciate the gift of freedom. The common saying, "Freedom isn't free" weighs heavily on my soul. We all - every single one of us - pay a price.
I urge you to think about the men and women who died so that we can buy ridiculous decorations and cover ourselves and homes with the American flag. Thank a soldier, a vet, and anyone who has served their country. They didn't serve their president or their own ideals. They gave willingly of themselves for someone they don't even know. Please don't take your freedom for granted.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
A Bad Example
I love when people take a well-known symbol, albeit not a pretty one, and twist its meaning to satisfy their own deplorable argument.
CON: "It is deplorable to go ahead with this decision of the wall at the border...The wall will not solve any problem. Humanity made a huge mistake by building the Berlin Wall and I believe that today the United States is committing a grave error in building the wall on our border. It is much more useful to solve common problems and foster prosperity in both countries."
Felipe Calderón
President of Mexico
"Mexico Urges Canada to Help Oppose Border Fence,"
CTV (Canadian national broadcast news)
Oct. 26, 2006
While I agree that the Berlin Wall was a blemish on the face of the earth, lets get some facts straight about the Berlin Wall and Mr. Calderon's failed attempt to equate that to the border between the US and Mexico.
1. The Berlin Wall was constructed to prevent emigration, not immigration. Two very different things. Emigration is the moving of people from one place to another. It can be within the same country, as was the case between eastern Germany and western Germany. It's like me moving from Seattle to Washington, D.C. Immigration is moving from one place to an entirely different NON-NATIVE place. This is similar to migration.
2. The Berlin Wall divided democracy and communism. While Mexico has it's problems, it is FAR from communism. A border between the US and Mexico is not a division of hatred, it is a membrane, meant to protect the nucleus, allowing in key ingredients and blocking damaging particles. There is a process to enter legally into any country. The US should be no different.
3. We can look to Europe for a good example on how border control works. Within a good chunk of EU (European Union) countries, you do not have to show your travel visa, passport, or go through customs every time you pass through a country. Some do require a customs check or immigration check, but other than that you are free to roam. If you are questioned, you simply show your passport and/ or travel visa. And that's just it. Traveling between borders is a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT. And every country has their own rule for staying there temporarily or permanently. Why should the US be any different? I don't go to Germany and expect free health care or education.
I lived in Europe for 13 years and saw how "open" borders foster acceptance, equality, diversity, and most of all, a better quality of life. However, "open" does not mean taking advantage of resources or lying about your work status. Do it the right way. There are a ton of agencies out there to help people get into the US legally. I see it everyday where I work. And most importantly, if you're making a point, understand the symbol you're using.
CON: "It is deplorable to go ahead with this decision of the wall at the border...The wall will not solve any problem. Humanity made a huge mistake by building the Berlin Wall and I believe that today the United States is committing a grave error in building the wall on our border. It is much more useful to solve common problems and foster prosperity in both countries."
Felipe Calderón
President of Mexico
"Mexico Urges Canada to Help Oppose Border Fence,"
CTV (Canadian national broadcast news)
Oct. 26, 2006
While I agree that the Berlin Wall was a blemish on the face of the earth, lets get some facts straight about the Berlin Wall and Mr. Calderon's failed attempt to equate that to the border between the US and Mexico.
1. The Berlin Wall was constructed to prevent emigration, not immigration. Two very different things. Emigration is the moving of people from one place to another. It can be within the same country, as was the case between eastern Germany and western Germany. It's like me moving from Seattle to Washington, D.C. Immigration is moving from one place to an entirely different NON-NATIVE place. This is similar to migration.
2. The Berlin Wall divided democracy and communism. While Mexico has it's problems, it is FAR from communism. A border between the US and Mexico is not a division of hatred, it is a membrane, meant to protect the nucleus, allowing in key ingredients and blocking damaging particles. There is a process to enter legally into any country. The US should be no different.
3. We can look to Europe for a good example on how border control works. Within a good chunk of EU (European Union) countries, you do not have to show your travel visa, passport, or go through customs every time you pass through a country. Some do require a customs check or immigration check, but other than that you are free to roam. If you are questioned, you simply show your passport and/ or travel visa. And that's just it. Traveling between borders is a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT. And every country has their own rule for staying there temporarily or permanently. Why should the US be any different? I don't go to Germany and expect free health care or education.
I lived in Europe for 13 years and saw how "open" borders foster acceptance, equality, diversity, and most of all, a better quality of life. However, "open" does not mean taking advantage of resources or lying about your work status. Do it the right way. There are a ton of agencies out there to help people get into the US legally. I see it everyday where I work. And most importantly, if you're making a point, understand the symbol you're using.
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